Bathroom Etiquette

Since Emily Post has passed on, I feel it is my duty, no, calling, to correct rampant misbehavior in our American Society today. After returning to the workplace and a public bathroom I have become aware of certain things that need to be addressed.

1. It is NEVER!!!! OK to talk on a phone in a public restroom! People do not need to hear you or me pee in the background, I do not care who you are or what the issue is, IT CAN WAIT!! There is nothing more disturbing than to hear someone speaking in the stall next to you! There is already enough pressure to finish your business in a public arena, without knowing that the boyfriend of the gal in the stall next to you is in on all the action as well, and while you are at it, hell, why not record the conversation for posterity?!
2. Always wash your hands after using the restroom. In case you do not know, there are people in the workplace who keep unofficial lists of people who do not wash their hands and that list gets around. Don't be on it!
3. Do not peek through the gaps between the doors. A quick glance underneath the stall gives you all you need to know about the occupancy of said stall. You do not need the details regarding nylons, cotton or polyester to get through the rest of your day.

Stick with these guidelines and you will go far kiddo!