All The Things They Say

I might have mentioned my kids before, but let me dedicate this posting to the things that come out of their mouths. My disclaimer is as follows - my boys are really good kids - there is slightly more substance to this claim than just the usual parental delusions. However, they have inherited their mother and father's sense of humor and mouths. From time-to-time, I will post some of these gems for you to enjoy and I know you will, since the majority of them are at my expense. Oh, one more thing, my middle child is the king of comments, so you will mostly be seeing those comments.

Background: My oldest son, Bud, decided to draw a picture of me a couple of days ago.

He could not see me from where I was standing so he says, "Mom, can I see the shirt you are wearing for my picture." I moved so he could see it and he returns to drawing.
A few minutes later I hear Scooter telling him, "Momma's a little fat."
"What? What did you say Scoots?"
"I was talking to Bud."

Background: We are going up and down the isles at the grocery store for at least the 3rd time last night. I kept trying to find a pyrex dish that was the correct size for a boxed meal I wanted to try, but I could not see them.

Scooter says to Bud, "Momma should take more of her pills."

Background: My children love Star Wars. They were Obi Wan Kenobi, Anakin and Yoda for Halloween. They love to fight with light sabers and they will talk to anyone who mistakenly tells them they like Stars Wars for 20 minutes. One day, out of nowhere, we hear this.

Scooter, "Does Master Yoda have a penis."
Incredulous Parent, "What?"
Scooter, "Does Master Yoda have a penis."
Incredulous Parent, "Well, I guess if he is a boy, then, yes, he would have a penis."
Scooter, "Is it green?"

Background: I nursed my children and they seem to view me as their personal property. Scooter came up with the term duba for my boobs - I have no idea why. One day while all 3 of the boys were in the tub we had the following conversation. Scooter is the most attached to dubas and he is my only thumb sucker.

Bud, "Does Squiggy still get duba milk?"
"No, dubas don't make milk anymore."
Scooter, "WHAT!!!???" (like the core of his world has just been shaken)
"Dubas don't make milk anymore."
"Oh, that's why we suck our thumb."

Background: While lecturing Scooter on his inappropriate behavior, I get this comment.

"Scooter, you cannot continue to throw fits every time you don't get what you want. You need to learn to share. You never get what you want when you act that way. So, stop acting that way. do you hear me?"
Scooter responds with, "blah, blah, blahbidy, blah blah."