Saturday, December 03, 2005

This Is The Post In Which My Mom Is Vindicated

My Mom
My Mom, She looks innocent. Don't be fooled.

It pains me to write this, on so many levels, but I still have a smidgeon of a conscience left and it has to be done. I am not writing this solely because I now know my mother reads this post (the guilty parties in this matter know who they are – alright, it was me, I told her I had a blog and one thing led to another). When I am wrong I am willing to admit it, it’s just that I am so rarely wrong ;-).

A few years ago, a friend of mine told me I should move to Phoenix and I told her ,"no way, Phoenix has weird bugs". I should have remembered that before moving down here. A few weeks ago, I talked some smack about my mother and roaches on this very site. Well, I am here to tell you that I have seen them with mine own eyes and it was independently verified, yesterday, by a 3rd party. Sewer roaches! They live in the freaking sewers down here! It is a city problem, not necessarily a problem with my cleanliness (I can hear you already Mom, do not bother adding a comment about my cleaning habits – this is hard enough as it is).

I have started naming them as I find them dead on the floor in the morning. So far we have sent: John, Barry, Ralph, Jonesie, Guido, Gonzo and James on their merry way. It’s disgusting and apparently, one of the fringe (or is in french? just kidding) benefits of living in this godforsaken part of the country. Then, there are the black widows and crickets, scorpions….woohoo! a regular entomological festival down here. I bought 36 bait traps and the apartment sprays every week, but, I repeat, they live in the sewers! Ugh, is it too late to change my mind about living here?

I did manage to get some revenge on the apartment complex though. I marched over to the office on a Saturday, with a foyer full of perspective renters and announced I have roaches. That ought to teach them to blow me off over the phone again (we don’t have a problem my ass – they are damn lucky I did not bring a baggie with some dead examples for them)!

So, I write this on a Saturday night and plan to post another post in about 5 seconds, so by Monday no one will have seen this, but I can feel better about myself as a person and no one will remember about my roaches.

P.S. I love you Mom!

posted by Ditsy Chick @ 10:19 PM |


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