Monday, May 15, 2006
Musings on Motherhood
Things I wish someone would have told me about Motherhood:
It will be many years before you will be able to finish your own meal or dessert
It will be many years before you will be able to go into the bathroom alone. By yourself. Without spectators. It doesn’t matter what function you are performing in the bathroom – showering, bathing, etc.
Another human being’s poop and vomit will not make you gag – in fact, it will have the ability to elicit feelings of relief, celebration, empathy and love
You will have the ability to sniff another person’s head for hours on end – and you will want to
You cannot control the emotional outbursts of another human – even if that human hath sprung forth from your own loins
You will not be embarrassed by having your husband, your mother, the doctor, the midwife, the nurse going off shift, the nurse coming on shift, 2 pediatric nurses, and some guy training to be an EMT, in a dark room with 2 very large spotlights aimed directly at your nether regions with very large salad spoons hanging out of it
