Thursday, April 20, 2006

Continuing on the Tax Theme

Why you should not have children for just tax deductions:

1) All told I think they "saved me" $3,000 on my taxes. Grand total for daycare $15,878, not including $3,000 for private school tuition. Very poor return on investment (ROI) there.

2) Last week my kids ate at least their respective body weight in food and candy. All told it costs me about $200 every time I go to the grocery store.

3) Birthday parties ROI is also very poor. You pay $350 for the cake, party supplies, balloons, food, gift bags and entertainment, they get all the presents.

4) No amount of tax refund can make up for going to work with syrup and milk on your clothes - which is bad enough, but the clumps of unknown white stuff in my hair? That I did not discover until I had been at work for a couple of hours??!

............Now off to Yna for her insight......................

5) When men take time off work to care for sick children, it's so wonderful that he is that caring and attentive to his wife and children's needs - a real family man - give him a promotion. When a woman takes time off to care for them, she's not committed to her job and is unreliable - there's no way she'll ever be management material.

6) The depreciation on your vehicle is accelerated by 1000% each year.
Let me illustrate:
A) The addition of permanent car seat creases in the leather
B) Miniscule particles of cracker crumbs in every crevice that no vacuum is powerful enough to pick up
C) Sticky-juice-or-soda covered seats holding petrified french fries in suspended animation
D) A baby bottle of coagulated milk on the floor (the "baby" is 3!!!!)
E) And what the heck is that sour smell coming from behind the seat?!!! (After about 5 minutes, you really don't smell it anymore)
F) 3 months worth of school papers (3 papers per day, 20 days of school per month..... that's 180 pieces!!!) of crayon-scribbled VERY IMPORTANT schoolwork piled on the floor in the back seat
G) The left shoe from every pair of shoes that you've ever bought your children

7) Then there's the issue of paying for the food that goes in the top end and then paying for diapers to catch it coming out the bottom end..... how is that cost-effective exactly??????

8) My other issue is with children's clothes. I think the cost of clothes for my children are somehow tied to the same index that they are using for calculating the increase in gas prices. I just cannot justify paying $25-30 for a pair of jeans for my 7 year old that she will grow out of in 6 months!!!! At least I can get a good 7-8 years out of mine for the same cost. Most of the time. If I lay off the chocolate Easter bunnies. And the jelly beans. And the Cadbury Mini Eggs. I love those. Thanks a lot, Denice. Thanks a lot. (Perhaps, I should explain, I introduced Yna to these little
babies, they only come out at Easter and they are damn good, especially, dipped in peanut butter, god they are gooooood.)
posted by Ditsy Chick @ 1:39 PM |


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