Don't Blame Me, Blame the Real SOB Who Stole Christmas

You may have noticed I have not said too much about the holidays in my blog. Well, it is going to be a high today of 72 degrees and that just takes the holiday spirit right out of me. So, today, I am trying. I love the holidays, really I do.

Every year, there are 1 or 2 people who I struggle to buy gifts for (or just plain forget about them until their gift shows up on my doorstep) and I end up buying them something off of the Internet. I shop on the Internet because there were no real stores in Idaho Falls and because I am too damn lazy to wrap something, find a box and go to the Post Office to mail it. Why do that, when I can pay some poor underfed child in China to do this for me? Time is money. I usually buy these gifts on the 22nd or 23rd and I am waaaay too cheap to pay an extra $15.00 for a $25.00 gift, just to make sure it arrives by Christmas. So, I let them go snail mail.

This causes many of my Christmas conversations to go as follows:

“Hello, Merry Christmas! Yes, yes, we got the spatula-fork-all-in-one-potholder. How clever, we loved it! We sent your present too, did you get it?”

“Nope, no gift.”

“Well, those goddamned sons of beaches at Amazon! I am going to give them a piece of my mind! They had damn well better give me a refund for the extra money I spent to have it overnighted! Anyway, Merry Christmas, it should be there in a couple of days!”

“Yes, Merry Christmas, I will call when I get it.”

Eh, people have too much shit to open on Christmas day anyway.

Drink of the day:

Holiday
Champagne
Punch

INGREDIENTS:

1 quart Ginger ale
2 small cans Frozen lemonade
1 small can Frozen orange juice
1 Bottle of Dry Champagne
8 or 10 Frozen whole strawberries

PREPARATION:

Ice Ring (kinky sounding, isn't it?): Mold 1 small can frozen lemonade and 1 can water, plus the strawberries and freeze the night before.

Punch: Mix 1 can lemonade, 1 can orange juice, 1 quart ginger ale, and 1 quart champagne in ice bowl add ice ring and serve.