Thursday, December 22, 2005

Friday Morning Confessional

Confession it’s good for the soul. Try it sometime....

There have been a few, rare instances, where I have intentionally taken someone off my Christmas card list. Most of the time I just lose their address and phone number and when I don’t get a card from them, then, I don’t have their address anymore. This post is about one of those rare instances, where someone was removed from my list on purpose.

I had a friend who I have known since I was almost an egg. She was once a best-friend, kind of friend. We were slightly out-of-touch after college, but she was at my wedding. I am confessing to you that this friend should no longer be expecting a Christmas card from me, ever again. Or, at least, not until I make a dramatic and fundamental conversion in my life and really learn how to forgive and move on.

Why? Why would I do this?

Simple: she boinked a married member of my family, on my wedding night and then had the audacity to tell me about it! This family member is not someone I am all that close to, but he is very definitely married and his friggin’ wife was at the wedding.

Note to my audience: In case the clue phone has not rung for you yet; let me help you out with this one….

1) Do not boink any married friend or relative of the bride –EVER! Especially, not on her wedding day!!

2) If the champagne got away with your common sense and you did sleep with a married family member or friend, then, DO NOT EVER tell the aforementioned bride about the incident! She will not understand. Not even 8 years after the fact!

So, she’s off the list, pretty much until reindeer fly out of her ass. I should mention that I am only supposed to confess something if I don’t intend on doing it again. Which is probably why I now confess on the Internet and not in church, I have no intention of forgiving this one, not bloody ever.

As for the slime ball that did the boinking…he gets a card, but I usually address it to his wife. No, I am not telling her (which kills me), don’t even suggest it, but I could torture him with innuendo, now couldn’t I? Good thing I don’t have to tolerate his presence very often.

Now, it's your turn to confess. Let me get you started.

Hi Denice, long-time (or short-time, I don't discriminate) lurker, first time commenting on your site....


PS..... Yna – your sis is completely off the list as well, but for totally different, but equally egregious reasons.


Drink of the day (damn if I don't need this one!):

Screaming Orgasm (as needed)

Ingredients:

1 oz Vodka
1 1/2 oz Bailey's irish cream
1/2 oz Kahlua

Mixing instructions:

Pour first vodka, then Bailey's, then Kahlua into a cocktail glass over crushed ice. Stir.
Caution: use only high quality vodka. Cheap vodka can cause the Bailey's to curdle. Test your brand of vodka by mixing 1 Tsp each of vodka and Bailey's first.

Enjoy! Enjoy! Enjoy!
posted by Ditsy Chick @ 2:03 PM |

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