Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Ask Ditsy - What to Buy

WARNING: Do NOT click on the title link while at work.

My question for this week comes from Arabella.

Dear Ditsy Chick,

Why is it so difficult for me to find a business suit, for less than $500, that doesn't make me look like one (or more!) of the following:

1.) Joan Crawford circa 1943;
2.) One of the Golden Girls on her way to a charity ball;
3.) Ally McBeal plus twenty pounds of cellulite?



Ann Taylor

Dear Arabella,

I have not had this issue since I moved out of my parent's house and had to pay rent with $5.50/hour job. My glory days of clothes shopping were over and having to subsidize support my husband's job as a public servant, ensures that they will remain over, but I digress.

I am taking a guess that you enjoy a couple of things while shopping, the first, being texture. Expensive Quality clothes feel good - natural silks, wools and linens are decadent to touch and sexy. Not at all like the polyblends I buy from the Roseanne collection at Wally World.

The second, is probably the fit, as you allude to in the Ally McBeal (Ally would not qualify for cellulite at anything less than 50 pounds being added to her anorexic frame - oops, did I say that out loud?). There clearly is a difference between the clothes you buy at the beloved Ann Taylor shops and of course, the Mothership...


Than at, let's say, the place which loving refers to itself as a store for women and a place that livestock live.

Finally, don't the salesclerks in the nicer stores, just smell helpful? Or is that just me?

Here is what I would suggest:

If you have the money and you don't mind spending it on a quality suit that is going to last, don't give it another thought. Why wouldn't you do this, for the love of God, do it for those of us who cannot afford drycleanable (is this a word?) clothes and dainty fabrics that cannot standup to smashed bananas or clinging brats children? Take one for the team here....Sorry, that just slipped out.

If you want more clothes and do not want to shell out the cash, you can take a couple of approaches. The first approach is split the outfit up, buy the jacket or the pants that you love and pair them with something that is not quite in the same league as the first piece. The second approach, is to shop and the nice, but not quite so pricey stores, such as, Macy's or, well, Macy's. Their sales are spectacular!

Also, plan ahead and shop the sales. The Mothership has her twice yearly sale and if you have one of their cards you will receive advance notice of the sales. Buying off-season is another great way to save without sacrificing quality, most suits stay in fashion for a few years, so buying off-season will not hurt its wardrobe longevity.

Ah, hell, just do what I did, husband and money be damned, the real solution is; gain 70-80 pounds and your problem will be forever solved, because they don't even attempt to make nice clothes for anyone with a 'W' right after the size. Saved me a truckload of money. And trust me, if you look like a Golden Girl at that point, you would be glad you could breathe in the fargin' thing.

I'm off to see what the livestock shop has in store for me for the summer. Can I wear Carhartt's to the office? 'Cause those suckers last forever! And, whoooieee, aren't they sexy? We won't discuss what those salespeople smell like...because I am a lady, dammit!

Best Wishes,


Need a question answered? Click on the 'contact me' link to send me an email.

posted by Ditsy Chick @ 9:29 PM |


<< Home