Thursday, February 02, 2006
The Games People Play
It has come to my attention that the Super Bowl is Sunday. Let me just tell you how much I do not care about this year’s Super Bowl. This in fact, has pretty much been the case, since Joe Montana left the league and that fairy (apologies to fairies everywhere) from BYU took over the 49ers. So, why is it men feel so compelled to let their life revolve around sports, anyway? This is especially true in the office. I figure you have two options when sports come up at work: a) play dumb and they will leave you alone or b) read the headlines of the Sports section of the newspaper and pretend you know what you are talking about.In my lifetime, I have taken both approaches. The other day I asked a male co-worker who was in the Super Bowl and when he answered, I followed-up with, “Does that mean UCLA is out?” He’ll never talk to me about sports again, I guarandamnteeit. As I mentioned, I used to try to humor the guys, I would bring up one headline and it would send a guy pontificating for 30 minutes, all the while, I mentally cleaned out my refrigerator. I found this approach to be an unproductive use of my time and stick with option A for most occasions.
I keeping thinking, forget stats, let’s talk about the important stuff – jockstrap malfunctions, who’s hot and who are they dating. That’s interesting stuff. Otherwise, I like to go to sports arenas and see the real thing or I even like it when people join a local office team. Four hours of my life devoted to one game? When all that really matters is the last two minutes of play? No thanks.
Unless, it is the Olympics. The sporting event of the year! Heck, of the next two years! I sure hope Italy has their act together, because I will be watching – laughing, cheering, booing and crying with the best of them. The drama, the crashes the victories, people who are relative nobodies for 98% of their life, these athletes have devoted their lives to their sport, even without the huge payouts (discounting the US Men’s Basketball team in the summer Olympics, of course).
And (never start a sentence with and, didn’t your mother teach you anything?), I totally track the medal count, because, the country that has the most medals wins. It’s in da rule book, look it up.
