Teflon Tiff

(Frequent Reader Bonus – Two posts in a day. I cannot post from home (computer broken, no internet access, sob, must keep going). Who reads blogs on the weekend anyway? Isn’t that on your own time?)

I used to have a co-worker that we actually referred to as Teflon Tiff. She could deflect any assignment or take-away faster than most of us can blink. I have been thinking that in the realm of superpowers, that is a damn fine power to have. There are some others I think I would like to have as well:

Super Daycare Spying – Ability to see what both my children and their teachers are doing at school. Coupled with…..

Ability To Cause People To Fart From Long Distances – When the daycare teacher even looks at my child cross-eyed, I would force her to the bathroom, while the children laughed, hysterically, at the funny noises teacher is making.

Douche Bag Radar – Okay, so I already have this power. What I really need is the repellant.

In Cubicle Invisibility – The ability disappear each time annoying co-worker heads over to ask the obvious question of the day or to assign you needless work.

Along with this, there are some superpowers, I do not want. I don’t want X-ray vision, heaven knows that with my supermommy hearing I have a good enough idea of what my kids are up to, I don’t need to hit the ceiling any faster. I don’t want to know what men are thinking, I am going to take Jeff Foxworthy at his word; that men are only thinking about sports, they want to see somethin’ nekkid and they want a beer. I have never seen any real proof that this is not the case.

What powers will you choose? Let me know.