Saturday, February 02, 2008

Why I Am Going Shopping at Lunch Today

I emailed this to Yna.

So, I went to Starbucks and ordered a sausage sandwich and hot chocolate. I also got a co-worker a mocha lotte. Upon arriving at the venerable parking lot of my work, I stepped out of the car and with my hands full I held to coffee tray with my chin to shut the door...where just seconds later, I felt hot liquid driping down my chest and silk blouse. My lovely Tiffany blue silk blouse, now has the added fashionable splash of brown to it, thank goodness this is a great new fashion trend or I would be embarassed to walk around with the chocolate spots all over me. I need to go to the washroom to wash the chocolate off my bosoms, do you think I could talk anyone into just licking the chocolate off? Me neither and my tongue isn't long enough, not that, um, I tried this or anything weird like that.

Oh, and the breakfast sausage sandwich, don't know what happened to that, but they did give me a lovely slice of some coffee cake with raspberry jam filling. I threw it away, (after considering how much it would cost to send to a starving 3rd world country, I decided, that given the fact, it took 10 days for the calendars I ordered from Costco, to make it from the Midwest to Phoenix, it might take several years to arrive in Africa, given that this was not fruitcake I was fairly certain, it would not arrive before its recommended pull date ). I think it is a sign from God that I need to stick to my diet resolution, I made a mere 2 days ago, but could not find the motivation to keep. I hope the skinny bitch who did get my sandwich, choked on it and it made her bloated and it gave her thighs like mine!

FYI - the hot chocolate tastes like ass, I am merely drinking it for the caffeine and sugar at this point.


Some rational part of my brain stopped me from sending this to your crackberry, but the irrational part of my could see the Diet Coke coming out your nose as you read this in a meeting - then our shirts would have the same damn brown spots.
posted by Ditsy Chick @ 3:39 PM |


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