Tuesday, June 09, 2009

It's Complicated

So I met this guy....

You might be aware that I have 3 boys, if any of the pictures of them and stories on my blog have escaped your notice, I am telling you I have 3 boys.They are my whole world. I don't want to blog about what it is like having them gone for the summer, because I want to avoid the pity party that comes along with it. I am really not going to tell you much about the guy I am dating either. What I do want to talk about is dating with kids, after divorce.

It is usually really hard for me to have time to go out on a date, but since my boys are gone, that is not the case right now. Which means I have the rare opportunity to see someone fairly frequently, which has been nice.

Now for the complicated part, I have kids and an ex. He has kids and an ex and she is dating as well. So, when you get into a relationship you have all these dynamics to deal with and think about. When do you let him meet the kids? When should I meet his kids? How much interaction should I have with his kids? How am I going to like his ex? When should his kids meet my kids? Is he going to get along with my ex (given that my dweebish ex moved away, this isn’t a huge issue at the moment)? Are his kids going to like me? Am I going to like his kids (I do, they are good kids)? Are my kids going to like him? Is he going to like my kids (puhlease, who wouldn’t love my sweet little cherubs)?

The truth is, it is a relief for me to not have to worry about him meeting my kids for awhile. I made a huge mistake of introducing my boys to someone I dated (he had been my friend and had I planned on dating him at the time, I would not have let him meet them so soon). When I told my boys he wasn’t coming over anymore, they looked so sad and said, “But he is our friend too.” I am not EVER doing that to my kids again. If someone is meeting my boys, it will be someone who will be in my and their lives for the long haul.

The rest is going to just have to work itself out.

posted by Ditsy Chick @ 11:12 AM |


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